Saturday, September 01, 2012
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Don't know if you know...
... how completely I care about you.
... how quickly you can put me in an emotional tailspin.
... how much it hurts when you let me down. Even (especially) when you don't realize it.
... how good a no-holding-back cry feels. Especially when done in a hot shower.
I do think you know how much I worry about you.
I wish I could have a hug like I used to get them. Because that often does a lot to make the bad stuff better.
I wish we could laugh like we used to. Because you're really good at making me smile.
I wish we could talk, about stupid stuff, about serious stuff, about any stuff like we used to.
I miss you.
... how quickly you can put me in an emotional tailspin.
... how much it hurts when you let me down. Even (especially) when you don't realize it.
... how good a no-holding-back cry feels. Especially when done in a hot shower.
I do think you know how much I worry about you.
I wish I could have a hug like I used to get them. Because that often does a lot to make the bad stuff better.
I wish we could laugh like we used to. Because you're really good at making me smile.
I wish we could talk, about stupid stuff, about serious stuff, about any stuff like we used to.
I miss you.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Friday, August 06, 2010
Bless You
Your voice cut through the noise of the market from half a block away. I heard your hands clapping, keeping time. I heard your soulful voice, singing the words of a song I sang as a child. But the joy I heard behind it gave it so much more meaning. I walked further, looked across the street, and saw you smile. And it brought the song to life so much more.
I walked across the street, meaning to just drop a couple bucks in the cup at your feet, and the smile grew on my face as I urged myself to hold it together, but could feel the tears forming in the back of my eyes. I got closer, and saw your smile grow even bigger, as you shook your head ever so slightly, while you kept singing, and you spread your arms out. You reached out to hug me, a complete stranger.
You, a later middle-aged man, who appeared a little down on your luck, but seemingly with more heart and peace than so many others.
Me a younger woman who just an hour earlier was talking about how lucky I am by the worlds standards.
Two strangers, meeting on a corner, drawn together by the words of a simple song.
You sang, “He’s got the whole world, in His hands…He’s got the brothers and the sisters, in His hands…”
In the instant you smiled at me, broke from singing for just a second, put your arms around me, and said to me “Bless you, sister,” I truly felt like I was in His hands. The perspective and joy you gave me in that moment is worth worlds more than the small amount of money I placed in the cup at your feet.
I turned to walk away, with tears now rolling down my face. Changed.
Thank you, brother. Bless YOU.
I walked across the street, meaning to just drop a couple bucks in the cup at your feet, and the smile grew on my face as I urged myself to hold it together, but could feel the tears forming in the back of my eyes. I got closer, and saw your smile grow even bigger, as you shook your head ever so slightly, while you kept singing, and you spread your arms out. You reached out to hug me, a complete stranger.
You, a later middle-aged man, who appeared a little down on your luck, but seemingly with more heart and peace than so many others.
Me a younger woman who just an hour earlier was talking about how lucky I am by the worlds standards.
Two strangers, meeting on a corner, drawn together by the words of a simple song.
You sang, “He’s got the whole world, in His hands…He’s got the brothers and the sisters, in His hands…”
In the instant you smiled at me, broke from singing for just a second, put your arms around me, and said to me “Bless you, sister,” I truly felt like I was in His hands. The perspective and joy you gave me in that moment is worth worlds more than the small amount of money I placed in the cup at your feet.
I turned to walk away, with tears now rolling down my face. Changed.
Thank you, brother. Bless YOU.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Reason #47....
The concept of "best friend" seems to disappear from spoken vocabulary around the age of 19... but it hasn't left the way I feel.
Mine gave me reason #47 (no I didn't count - just estimating) that I love having her in my life yesterday. I got a picture text from her (and if I had a phone with that new-fangled technology that would let me download the picture to my computer you could see it), of a kind of rough looking upholstered chair, asking "How hard would this be to reupholster? It's only $5!" After a phone call and a couple more texts telling her it might be tough, but it would be fun, she came back with "I got it for $1! I'm so excited!" Shortly followed by "I love that I have a friend like you who entertains me with these projects."
I love that too.
And another reason I love her...
She let's me be a part of this sweet girl's life.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Couldn't be more disappointed...
...ok, I probably could be more disappointed, but this bit of news upset me tonight.
Did you know.... Ann M. Martin (of The Baby-Sitter's Club fame) herself did not in fact write all 213 volumes of the series? She estimates she only wrote 60 to 80 of them. Granted, the series was only around for 14 years, and writing them herself would require a pace of more than one a month. I suppose I've still been living in the world where Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey (on a side note, my favorite babysitter from my own childhood was named Stacey) met three times a week to talk about the kids they watched, solved mysteries while watching approximately 20 kids between them, went on vacation together (with all the kids they sat for), and I didn't do the math but instead hoped that this one woman was this prolific a writer and fabulous a storyteller.
Crushed, Ann M. Martin. Crushed.
Did you know.... Ann M. Martin (of The Baby-Sitter's Club fame) herself did not in fact write all 213 volumes of the series? She estimates she only wrote 60 to 80 of them. Granted, the series was only around for 14 years, and writing them herself would require a pace of more than one a month. I suppose I've still been living in the world where Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey (on a side note, my favorite babysitter from my own childhood was named Stacey) met three times a week to talk about the kids they watched, solved mysteries while watching approximately 20 kids between them, went on vacation together (with all the kids they sat for), and I didn't do the math but instead hoped that this one woman was this prolific a writer and fabulous a storyteller.
Crushed, Ann M. Martin. Crushed.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Power of Observation:
A quiz of things you see everyday.
This one's for you AD. Are you brave enough to take the quiz? And then post your score?
http://www.oldjoeblack.0nyx.com/thinktst.htm
This one's for you AD. Are you brave enough to take the quiz? And then post your score?
http://www.oldjoeblack.0nyx.com/thinktst.htm
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Revel in the Mundane
Trying to take some time to appreciate the little things. A recap of the minor, but beautiful, from last week.
Monday: 30 extra minutes in my workout thanks to the guy who walked in an took the bike next to mine.
Tuesday: A picture, even if only for me employee id!, that I thought truly looked like me, and I found "acceptable," and it only took one take!
Wednesday: The realization that I really do want to go back to school - it just felt right!
Thursday: A surprise lunch invitation from Matt, and he offered to pay! It was so nice to see him excited about school - even if it was chemistry, botany, and some plant imaging thing!
Friday: Slippers under my desk at work that made my day just a little more comfortable.
Saturday: Clean sheets and a new, warm blanket on my bed made me fall asleep feeling like I was floating on a cloud.
Sunday: A hug goodbye from one of my four year-olds at Sunday school.
Monday: 30 extra minutes in my workout thanks to the guy who walked in an took the bike next to mine.
Tuesday: A picture, even if only for me employee id!, that I thought truly looked like me, and I found "acceptable," and it only took one take!
Wednesday: The realization that I really do want to go back to school - it just felt right!
Thursday: A surprise lunch invitation from Matt, and he offered to pay! It was so nice to see him excited about school - even if it was chemistry, botany, and some plant imaging thing!
Friday: Slippers under my desk at work that made my day just a little more comfortable.
Saturday: Clean sheets and a new, warm blanket on my bed made me fall asleep feeling like I was floating on a cloud.
Sunday: A hug goodbye from one of my four year-olds at Sunday school.
In the midst of the busy-ness and stress that comes with everyday life, I'm taking some time to revel in the stuff that really matters.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I believe, help me in my unbelief!
"I don't think you believe you deserve to be happy."
***********************************************
"Scattered words and empty thoughts...
Seem to pour from my heart.
I've never felt so torn before...
Seems I don't know where to start.
But it's now....
that I feel Your grace fall like rain.
From every fingertip, washing away my pain.
'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth'
Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, I still believe."
***********************************************
"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in pace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:34
***********************************************
"Scattered words and empty thoughts...
Seem to pour from my heart.
I've never felt so torn before...
Seems I don't know where to start.
But it's now....
that I feel Your grace fall like rain.
From every fingertip, washing away my pain.
'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth'
Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, I still believe."
***********************************************
"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in pace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:34
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Snowed In
With the storm we're getting hit with, and the amount of snow expected between this evening and tomorrow night, I'm not going anywhere. Which makes it the perfect night for writing out some Christmas cards. This year, I've decided to abandon my usual tradition of making my own cards, which often keeps me up 'til the wee hours of the morning a few nights in December, in favor of sending out store-bought cards. I'm making an effort to at least write a personal note in each one to make up for it, but the extra sleep this will allow me is worth it. (One lucky blog reader may even see their name in this picture if they look close enough!)
Accompanying the cards it a nice glass of vino. Don't worry, not enough to effect the notes being written!
Also on tap, I'm hoping to do a little vampire reading!
Accompanying the cards it a nice glass of vino. Don't worry, not enough to effect the notes being written!
Also on tap, I'm hoping to do a little vampire reading!If you're anywhere in the path of this storm, please stay safe, and enjoy a little down time as you're literally buried in the house.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Easy Christmas Makeover
Somehow, decorating for Christmas always becomes more of an ordeal than I originally think it will be.
As soon as I hung my huge ornament star (that I redid this summer to get replace the gold frame with silver) over my fireplace, I knew the three circle prints on the wall next to it would have to go.
But new artwork wasn't exactly in the budget. What's a girl to do?
With a few sheets of mat-board, some fun pink card stock, chipboard letters, silver glitter, and hot glue, and after glitter was spread all over my counters, table, and floor....
I came up with this. Glittered chipboard letters mounted on pink card stock mounted on white mat-board, which I hot glued to the glass of the original pictures.
About $15 and an hour later, I have some fun, easy, reuseable Christmas decorations.
And just because this sweet little cat is providing me some much needed comfort and cuddlin' lately, I thought she deserved a spot on the blog. Love you Lucy.
As soon as I hung my huge ornament star (that I redid this summer to get replace the gold frame with silver) over my fireplace, I knew the three circle prints on the wall next to it would have to go.
But new artwork wasn't exactly in the budget. What's a girl to do?
With a few sheets of mat-board, some fun pink card stock, chipboard letters, silver glitter, and hot glue, and after glitter was spread all over my counters, table, and floor....
I came up with this. Glittered chipboard letters mounted on pink card stock mounted on white mat-board, which I hot glued to the glass of the original pictures.
About $15 and an hour later, I have some fun, easy, reuseable Christmas decorations.
And just because this sweet little cat is providing me some much needed comfort and cuddlin' lately, I thought she deserved a spot on the blog. Love you Lucy.
This post is linked to DIY Day at A Soft Place To Land. I haven't participated before, but have looked at and got ideas several times. For more DIY fun, check out all the cool stuff here!
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Broken and Waiting
This is what life has been feeling like lately.
I'm trying desperately to hold on to the fact that my broken-ness is only a small part, and sometimes a necessary part, of a much bigger, much more beautiful picture. (If I'm honest, I'm more desperately trying to remind myself to hold on to that fact.)
We CAN pick up the pieces. We CAN move forward trusting that that one broken piece does not define the entirety of the story. We CAN trust that the bigger picture is good and true and beautiful. We WILL be able to understand. Eventually.
I'm trying desperately to hold on to the fact that my broken-ness is only a small part, and sometimes a necessary part, of a much bigger, much more beautiful picture. (If I'm honest, I'm more desperately trying to remind myself to hold on to that fact.)
We CAN pick up the pieces. We CAN move forward trusting that that one broken piece does not define the entirety of the story. We CAN trust that the bigger picture is good and true and beautiful. We WILL be able to understand. Eventually.
...
Waiting on peace, hoping for patience, and knowing it will all make sense sometime.
Christmas Tree Lights: 1. Katrina: 0.
It's 1:25. In the AM.And I'm fighting the good fight.
Hopefully there'll be a well-lit tree for you to "ooh" and "ahh" at by the end of this weekend. Wish me luck.Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Tears rush in.
Life was shaken up recently.
Not mine directly, but life of one of the people closest to me.
My brother Matt was in a car accident two and a half weeks ago, and, being the worrier of the family, it's hit me pretty hard. Not as hard as the car that hit him while he was on his bike. He's a blog reader, and I'm not sure how ok he is with me sharing much here (Matt - don't worry, the readership of this thing isn't huge), and I know this isn't his "method of coping" - something we discussed in some detail at an impromptu family meeting earlier tonight, but... for those of you out there who are on the same page as me, tonight I'm asking for prayer. For healing for him, for patience for all of us, for compassion, and really just a sense of peace that everything is going to work out.
I need this boy to be ok.
And I'm thankful that he understands that tears rolling down my face aren't all bad, and they don't scare him away.
Tonight, there may be more tears. Hopefully in the morning they'll stop for awhile.
Not mine directly, but life of one of the people closest to me.
My brother Matt was in a car accident two and a half weeks ago, and, being the worrier of the family, it's hit me pretty hard. Not as hard as the car that hit him while he was on his bike. He's a blog reader, and I'm not sure how ok he is with me sharing much here (Matt - don't worry, the readership of this thing isn't huge), and I know this isn't his "method of coping" - something we discussed in some detail at an impromptu family meeting earlier tonight, but... for those of you out there who are on the same page as me, tonight I'm asking for prayer. For healing for him, for patience for all of us, for compassion, and really just a sense of peace that everything is going to work out.
I need this boy to be ok.
And I'm thankful that he understands that tears rolling down my face aren't all bad, and they don't scare him away.
Tonight, there may be more tears. Hopefully in the morning they'll stop for awhile.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tonight, I'm thankful.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a quiet Thanksgiving Eve.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about cooking a turkey just right for a houseful of guests.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I won't spend the night cleaning every last corner of the house worried that someone will find the dust I missed.
Tonight, I'm thankful that some Thanksgiving Eve in the future there will be a family of my own here with me. Who I'll have to clean up after and cook for.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a family right down the road, where I can go tomorrow to watch the Packer game, eat turkey, and not be asked if I'm sure that I don't want mashed potatoes, because they already know I can't stand them.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I really don't have much to worry about, but confessing the fact that I still do.
Tonight, I'm thankful for all the crazy good things I've been given, but confessing the fact that many days I still want more.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a God who loves me in an immeasurable way, enough that I don't have to change for Him, but so much that He makes me want to.
Tonight, I'm thankful.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about cooking a turkey just right for a houseful of guests.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I won't spend the night cleaning every last corner of the house worried that someone will find the dust I missed.
Tonight, I'm thankful that some Thanksgiving Eve in the future there will be a family of my own here with me. Who I'll have to clean up after and cook for.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a family right down the road, where I can go tomorrow to watch the Packer game, eat turkey, and not be asked if I'm sure that I don't want mashed potatoes, because they already know I can't stand them.
Tonight, I'm thankful that I really don't have much to worry about, but confessing the fact that I still do.
Tonight, I'm thankful for all the crazy good things I've been given, but confessing the fact that many days I still want more.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a God who loves me in an immeasurable way, enough that I don't have to change for Him, but so much that He makes me want to.
Tonight, I'm thankful.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Baby Reese
While I haven't okayed it with her parents, I'm calling myself an honorary Aunt to this sweet baby girl. I got to spend about an hour holding her a mere 6 hours after she was born - sweet smelling, soft baby skin. It was wonderful!
Welcome to the world Baby Reese - your mom and dad love you tons, and so does your "aunt"!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Blue Ribbon Coming Soon!
You saw it here first folks. The prize-winning, purple, painted pumpkin! This baby, it all it's bejeweled and glittered splendor, is going into competition tomorrow.
Wish her luck, and I'll let you know the results soon.
By the way, if you're thinking to yourself, "Gee, Katrina, that's a mighty small pumpkin." You're right. It's barely the size of a baseball. This is all I was given to work with people. I do what I can.
Wish her luck, and I'll let you know the results soon.By the way, if you're thinking to yourself, "Gee, Katrina, that's a mighty small pumpkin." You're right. It's barely the size of a baseball. This is all I was given to work with people. I do what I can.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Rock-ster
I made myself a fall to-do list, and one item was to actually carve a pumpkin this Halloween. It's been several years since I've done this, and decided I needed a little bit of the nostalgic, traditional October stuff this year. Don't get me wrong, my life right now is really too busy to devote a night to cutting up a pumpkin, but I'm working on this whole "hurry" thing, and gave myself a break tonight.
Check out the finished product.... if you've ever visited the L's house, you'll recognize this little face.
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